He said it was due to being stressed out and depressed. You've already put him through a lot with your prior affair and he is a decent man for trying to stick it out. And he did not change after 8 yrs. But our marriage is not where it should be. The doctors told me it was a warning stroke that I had to slow down. The sexual energy we bring to a relationship is a reflection of our own levels of aliveness in our bodies.
I can tell you, my dead libido was all in my head, or related to not being attracted to my husband. We had a physical attraction initially but not much else. The intensity of sharing a bank account and a bathroom means that there is no more hiding. If you're concerned about your partner having lost interest, check to see if any of these telltale signs show up for you. This is why my poly relationship failed. My husband hates him with a passion.
But how she looks is simply not the issue. You are not alone in this, ladies. I can see why you feel hurt, Sarah. It happened only once … and was not discovered by anyone. I think I am only attracted to her now because we have kids and history together.
He never had a daddy figure. When I mentioned it, he told me that the waitresses there didn't usually make those kinds of mistakes and I was probably wrong and really had 3. I would really have to put my foot down to get him to let me go. He wanted to try counselling, but like many women, once you decide something, once you feel something in your gut, that's it. As for passion- Hummm we are working on that.
However , since about two weeks after engagement, I also have been experiencing times when I feel numb, nervous, unable to enjoy it all. A counsellor will ask the right questions and get you to both understand what is going on. He refused to let go, begged me to try, we spent a few months apart, a month apart, now a month apart and he's still moaning and crying like a baby. He leaves for work 3 months at a time. I know tons of relationships that last for many years or decades, where the woman never cheats or feels the need to cheat. I dont feel myself anymore. He thinks he has me trapped, because he knew my biggest fear was becoming a single mom like my own.
I don't want him to touch me even innocently , kiss him, we haven't had sex in 2 years and I have desire to do so, etc. I am so lucky to have him! Carrying around both of these photos will help change your perspective and remind you to focus on his physical beauty as well as your own humannness. We began to butt heads alot on parenting as well. He is over communicating everything where I hate taking, he loves analysing where I just want to complete a task. These feelings you have are not your fault and are not evil; from the sounds of it I think you should do him the kindness of leaving on good terms.
And gets angry when asked to do so. Even if he has changed! Hmmm, I'm in a similar situation but without kids or owning anything. Am I just not important enough to her to try? I am truly hurt and actually find my self not even speaking much to him. I would really have to put my foot down to get him to let me go. Now, this attraction issue I have been dealing with has taken a very different shape or since last time I posted on here about 2 weeks ago. You, at least, seem to have a much better attitude about life.
Extremely frustrated H September 14, 2016 at 5:26 am Last night I heard the most heartbreaking words from my wife. In the case that I am correct, I don't know if there is any coming back from this kind of situation. Apparently I was everything she wanted… Except sexually. I want to do anything I can. He pretended to be someone else just long enough to get me to marry him. I was foolish enough to think that would change.
I have not changed at all since we got married, and neither has my lifestyle. Instead, I find myself more and more disconnected and un-attracted. Everytime I ask his advice, he says whatever you want to do is fine. I was gonna ask if he cheated, but how dare him cheat and then threaten divorce. He is likely getting less than he needs too and may be sticking in it for you. He actually told me I was acting like his mother but all he does is sit on the computer all day and not look for a job or even do any housework or anything.
I think the second prong is a great point. I feel like chemistry is important and you should definitely go with your gut. Let him deal with himself. You have learned about the chinks in his armor, and you feel like you can't turn back from this. But, not wanting to have sex with you on at least a semi-regular basis is a red flag something is amiss. The problem is… life is never going to be perfect.