Here's my advice to you, as a mom: Look at your behavior from another's point of view. I mean, he wanted me to leave last time we talked, but when he is sane, he wants to work it out. Living with such a spouse can be very difficult, demanding, and unsatisfying. Do I stay or do I go? My ex had told me I would have joint custody but the court paper says she has 100%. How do you think your wife will react? Spending money, starting new credit while married to me — will I have to deal with that? I am the caretaker to a person who swings from being an obstreperous child to a sick old woman. Maybe it just a pleasant diversion to not focus on the unpleasantness that has become my life.
For example, a person who suffers intermittently from episodes of depression may wind up in a severely depressed state and perhaps even suicidal as the result of a spouse initiating a divorce. I think we all face the moral dilemma of not being able to leave someone because they will wind up homeless on the street. When you have a child who will not make use of medications, it's especially important to know about the non-medication forms of treatment because your child may be willing to make use of those approaches even if they refuse to take psychiatric medication. Meanwhile all the time I was falling apart. The tragic loss of suicide was almost too much for him. She is showing a capacity to manage these aspects of her life, lo and behold.
Her quite extensive and influential family members all live out of state and in many different states. It went from being semi-irrational to now completely off the deep end. Accusations of mental illness can incur delays, extra expenses, and lingering resentments that may never heal. That's just an example but hopefully, you get the general idea. Also sometimes, it's not about doing anything different for your adult child, but working through the issues around managing your anxiety and longing to help when your child is in distress. He can be so helpful around the house by fixing things, mowing the lawn, taking care of ice dams on the house, etc. The judge will either decide that your spouse is competent enough to handle the divorce on his own, or he will appoint a guardian ad litem for him.
My pastor, to whom I turned for counsel, didn't have answers either, but he and his wife listened and loved my family well. Her specialties include couples counseling and working with divorced, remarried, and stepfamilies. I don't think her anger at me is personal, but,I am tired of being her emotional punching bag. At first, she was diagnosed with which is much more common than bipolar. He was hospitalized for a month when we were married only 4 years. Thank you for your blog. Sorry for any typos — this is unedited.
These are definitely the kinds of situations in which the two spouses and the court may need to rely more heavily on professionals such as psychiatrists, therapists, and school personnel to make a judgment call and provide reports about fitness of one or both of the parents. We were already getting a divorce. It is not our place to judge another person. We can spin ourselves all kinds of narratives. Does it make you feel any better when I tell you that 90 per cent of marriages in which one partner is suffering from bipolar disorder end in divorce? We have been through financial hardship and have been successful.
Men sometimes show depression through anger, and many female clients have told me how , and angry outbursts. That was the one thing I could do was not let her be any closer. But you need compassion, not guilt; open listening, not judgment. I now see the image-bearing dignity of mentally ill people in a way I did not see before. Similarly with borderline personality disorder, characterized by unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, which is also common during the divorce process.
Wishing you strength and courage, Mandy My wife currently suffers with mental illness for the last 6 years. Have you discussed your situation with any of them? I have tried to have a harmonious relationship with my ex because I still care about the welfare of the man I married but I realise I cannot as he does not respect boundaries, highly manipulative and very smart. At first she was very apologetic but always made sure to place the blame for her actions on me not helping her enough. Get enough sleep; carve out time to recharge your batteries in whatever way nourishes you best - even if it's only for 10 minutes every three days; eat veggies and fruit when you can - healthy diet creates a resilience in not only in your body but in your mind and spirit; get fresh air every day even if only for a minute ; and create some fun and laughter in your week - somehow. Your life is far from over — you just have to travel through this transition. I was glad he agreed to get counseling but found out this wasnt going to work for him, if he was told something hedidnt want to hear he walked out. Coping with the loss of a wage-worker in the household, if mental illness has led to job loss.
I am the only friend she has, even her family cant deal with her… the harm that will come to her is far greater than the harm that comes to me by staying. God has proven himself faithful to us. I understand that he still has depression and he will have to learn to manage it, but for those of you in our shoes, you understand how absolutely incredible it is that he was able to make a solid decision, follow through with the decision and now own the decision. The tightrope I walk of trying to assure my kids that I will always keep them safe and teaching them empathy and compassion is constant. It seems like it happened over night.
No longer was there a physical relationship for more years than I care to admit to …. If you are weary in spirit and sick in body, as you are, you need help to change your situation. Just because it's taking a long time, doesn't mean recovery won't happen. Other times, I made the best choices available to our family. Do the world some good. Empty beer cans and snuff cans are strewn around his room - some made it into the trash - others did not.