I'm sorry for messing up And causing all your tears. . No way I can take it back, I can't turn around the clock. I send him this poem and I hope he can forgive me. I want him out of my head out of my heart, But he wont go away. But now as I sit here and write this I've come to realize why I can't Stop thinking about him.
Everyday I was alone I would tare myself down and wonder why I was with him, why I wouldn't just walk away and forget about him Forget about everything. I'm disgusted at myself for putting you through so much pain and even though you forgave me I just can't forgive myself that easily. Seeing you the other day made me realize this forsure. You have been through so much pain and heartache in your life already and my job is to be there to comfort you and to show you that there are better guys out there that actually do care and respect a woman for who they are but I screwed up. I put myself first for once.
I keep saying that im trying to get over him and that im moving on but each time he looks about me i forget all about everyone else in the world. No one else do I place above, don't leave me here in this place with no one to love. I love you with every bone in my body and I will never do what I did again. Why couldn't he be the guy that didn't cheat, lie, and was loyal. You haven't seen my best.
I love him still an always will. I'm sorry you don't believe in me And that I could not win. I'm sorry you can't trust me And won't ever let me in. It doesn't feel like I put myself first. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough And now I have to pay.
I just feel like I need to be punished more. I just got lost but i recently found my way. You were my life you complete me and still do til this day i never ment to throw your love away. I messed up, Did you wrong, It didn't last long, But. The fighting, yelling, lying, I'm sorry for all of that. I'm scared she'll find another if she hasn't already.
I want to come home your love is the best love ive known i dont want to go on without you in my life can we give this another shot can we pull threw this can we get back to us, i know i have lost your trust we can work threw this i know we can i know you still love me and i love you to. My heart bleeds for your love i need you in my life. Never did I think I would hurt you like this, I want to heal all your pain with just one kiss. Never doubt the love I have for you, for it keeps growing every day. And now I've pushed her away.
I want you back, Don't know if u feel the same way, After all, Tomorrows just another day, What i felt was real, Pain is what i made you feel, I kno my feelings are right, wishing you could give me another night, you were tru to me, But i was blind and couldn't see, you are in my heart, Wishing me and you can start, I know there was drama, even tho u couldn't have a boyfriend bcuz of you mama. I'm sorry for everything that I have put you through this past week. I convinced myself to destroy; My source of happiness; Laughter; Inner peace. It reminds me of how I feel with my ex of a year and 2 months Dylan. Well I'm going to leave it at that and hope that you will find this and read it.
If I would have just told you the truth from the beginning like a man all of this could have been avoided. I've messed up what we had and I miss it. Because he was my only Love I keep forgiving him and won't stop. I wish he would have never left me, Knowing his gone leaves me a bend. Yeah I know you don't hear that too often these days but it's true. I want to get back with him as well because I miss him.
I literally can't even look at myself in the mirror because I'm ashamed of myself. I'm losing my mind without her. Will you let me back in, if you knew my regret, can't you ever forgive and learn to forget. The day goes by the sun goes down still sitting just the same as the that awful day. I think about it and my eyes water; I think of what's going to happen next; And I involuntarily shudder.
We were together when I lived in New York but we keep drifting apart. So i really wish i could help you Zoe but all i can say is tell him if he really loves you he wouldnt say any different and he wouldnt keep puttin you thru the same stuff everytime. I feel like I'm in limbo; I'm a mess. I'm sorry for not being perfect And for not being able to break your fears. Because he still has my heart, I still love this boy. I messed up something good, Something great.