A: The library because it has the most stories. I used to be into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality, but I realized I was just beating a dead horse. Because, it ran outta juice. Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? What is the difference between a cat and a comma? Q: What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? I know because they told me. It was the girl who finished the exam so quickly. Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog? A: 2 Fast 2 Curious Q: Did you hear about the hairdresser? He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again.
You get your wife, dog, truck, and job back. Q: What is the tallest building in the world? As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. Q: What kind of key opens a banana? No, but sometimes their parents do! A: Because it was not peeling well Q: Why is England the wettest country? I can transcend dental medication. What is grey and can't fly? The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. Q: What pet makes the loudest noise? Q: What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in? When you share to your friends, however, you greatly help distribute our content.
How can you cut the sea in two? How do you make a tissue dance? Q: What bank do midgets use? He wanted to win the NoBell prize! When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. Q: What goes up and down but doesn't move? A: By becoming a ventriloquist! She happens to be a swimsuit model. Any chance you have something? A: They're all dead A pastor was was saying farewell to his congregation at the Church doors for the last time. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have? What do snakes do after they fight? Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise,' I wash my mouth out with chocolate. A: the alpha bet Q.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit? He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. Q: What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? How do you catch a unique rabbit? I like to make humor on the fly. If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? You are not totally useless. A: Urgent Tina Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? It's been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you! A: a New Jersey Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune? Q: Why did the blonde quit his job as a restroom attendant? A: The month of March! How do really small people call each other? What did the 0 say to the 8? A: When you're eating a watermelon! Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills! And a table, and a chair. Q: How do you communicate with a fish? What is red and smells like blue paint? Q: What do you call a house that likes food? He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. To her surprise, she sees male and female feet peeking out from under the blanket. Q: What is heavy forward but not backward? Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. As he passed it, he always left 25 cents, but he never once took a bagel. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. A: The Day-zzz Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? Q: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? I do have flabby thighs but, fortunately, my stomach covers them. The only existing photograph shows him standing on the gallows.
Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly? Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? We've categorized our free, funny, good, clean jokes for you right here in the Internet. Well, I tore the ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to deal with me! The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance. Q: Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? Q: Why is Santa so jolly? When he goes to place them in his mailbox, he finds a bill from the lawyer. A: Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A: Because he was a paleontologist. What Question must you always answer yes to? They are the umpire and the catcher. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? A: Because it had too many problems.
A: A-Dell Q: Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? A: Your dyslexic Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them. Runs on grass and oats. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. What tools do you need in math class? Why aren't elephant's allowed on the beach? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine! Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary? Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? Q: Did you hear about the guy who ran in front of the bus? Why did the doctor tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? Why didn't the skeleton cross the busy street? Why did the policeman smell bad? She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. Q: How do you piss of a midget? The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. A: A Yamahahaha Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Have you heard about corduroy pillows? Because they don't know the words! Q: What kind of bird sticks to sweaters? Q: Why did the stadium get hot after the game? As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.
A: Swims Q: Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Q: What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?. A: It went back four seconds. Q: What music are balloons scared of? Q: What do you call a gangsta snowman? Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America? A: Because she will Let it go.